There goes the first complete week of the year, done and dusted! I’m proud of myself. Proud of what I wrote, proud of what I posted, proud that I fulfilled the promises to myself and followed through on my plans.

And I’m also proud that I let myself continue to experience the ups and downs of grief. Saturday, the hormones of my period rendered me nearly inconsolable. And I let that happen, no guilting, no chastising, no worries about anything other than the emotions of the moment. And on Sunday, I felt so much better. (Well, my head hurt a little from crying so much and my eyes were swollen, but otherwise, I wasn’t exhaling out exhaustion with each breath!)

It was a quiet week with one big event, so though most of my favorites will stem from Friday’s festivities, I enjoyed falling into a gentle, familiar rhythm.

Favorite Road Trip Snack:

In preparation for the long drive from San Antonio, through San Marcos to pick up my friend, all the way to Houston for the Rachel Hawkins signing at Murder By the Book, I bought some snacks!

Even with the incredible options at Buc-ee’s, nothing could come close to the deliciousness of these Nerds Gummy Clusters. So tart, so sweet, and the irresistible need to reopen the bag and have a couple more. Better than caffeine for perking me up while driving through the storm on the way home.

(Coincidentally, the new Rachel Hawkins book is called The Storm! We got some very cool videos of the lightning while driving home, with the book splayed on the dashboard. I’ll post them on YouTube later!)

Favorite Crossover Moment:

My favorite thing about book events are all the bookish people you get to meet. No matter what, you have at least one thing in common: you love books. Even better, you probably love or enjoy the same author/genres!

With that basis, it’s so easy to talk to one another. My friend and I weren’t the only road warriors. We also found a duo who’d made the drive from Ft. Worth! I had such a giggle when they shared that one of them didn’t even know who they were going to see until halfway through the drive, they were just along for the ride! (But had loved Hawkins’ The Heiress, so it was perfect bahaha.)

I also spotted someone from my periphery who was crocheting. After the event — as my friend was using the bathroom after we’d gotten our books signed — I saw her and her friends again. She set down her WIP and I, of course, had to ask her what she was making. She explained she was working on a book sleeve using a granny square!!

She explained how to do it, how to fold it, and now I’m working on my own. (This is revolutionary for me, because I’ve made two book sleeves before but they were suuuuuch a pain of single or half double crochets over and over and over and over. The granny square is much more fun!)

Favorite Bit of Yarn Math:

Come every crochet project, I’m doing yarn math. Will I win this game of yarn chicken? Will I need to buy an extra skein? Did I buy too many skeins and will need to reconfigure the entirety of my already overflowing stash?

I returned to the beginnings of a blanket I haven’t touched since June:

Using the basketweave stitch, I finally finished the first jumbo skein! And I’m exceedingly happy to report that I bought exactly enough. (And by that I mean, I bought and sent my husband out to fetch for me, since I was hundreds of miles away at time of purchase and Michael’s had already sold out of the yarn I needed from anywhere nearby.)

Favorite Purchase:

My philosophy the past few weeks has been the Parks & Rec classic of ‘Treat Yo Self!’ It’s not the best way to handle the depression of losing a pet, but alas, my wallet must also feel the weight of my suffering. (Or it’s an inverse relationship. Goodbye money, hello Lego sets!)

That said, my favorite purchase this week was inspired by a thread on my Laqueristas subreddit. Apparently you can use chrome powder on regular (non-gel) polish? And it will recreate the most incredible shimmer effect?? This was news to me!

For $10, I bought the FNNZ Ocean Glimmer color. And, of course, I had to try it across all my cremes.

I. Was. Mesmerized. If I ever figure out how to create a gif and upload it to the blog, I’ll do that. But I hope photos for now will suffice. I also think this will help with my polish FOMO once it’s New Release Season. (Read: Every season once the dust of December has settled.)

I’ve now spent an additional $20 to get two more chrome powders — in Cyber Mirage & Galactic Dream — and will report back on if they equally blow my mind.

Favorite Epiphany?:

Goals = hope, for me. A sort of wonderful delusion. Perhaps it’s why I always set them so high and can never quite achieve them on the timeline I dreamed. They’re meant to be aspirational, a reach, a guiding light, not a designated hopscotch with The End easily jumped to.

That same hope is why I’ve been so turned off goals this year. With the ~everything~ in my personal life and the ~everything~ happening in the States and around the world, I’m not feeling hopeful. This epiphany makes me both sad and, in a twisted way, hopeful too. Hopeful that I’ll return to the silly goal setting (and dreaming and delusion that comes with it) when I’m in a better emotional place. That it hasn’t left me forever. I’ll find goals again when I find hope. And I have to trust that that’s not too far away.